Confessions of a movie buff.

Life is full of highs and lows and even movies are. Each emotion expressed, each scene, could have been true, and really felt by someone. Even if the movie is terrible, I tend to connect to the characters and relate to them in every possible way. I laugh with them in their happy scenes, and weep with them when they are depressed. The movie is taken way too seriously by me and i have a particular favorite character in every movie which i completely involve and see the movie from their point of view. Mostly it is the hero's. If u ask me "Who is your favorite hero?", i wouldn't be able to answer that, as i like something in everyone. It's like asking a first ranker, what is your favorite subject. The student would definitely like something in each subject.

In this process of connecting with the movie, for three hours, i lose myself. I forget who I am, and everything that's happening in my life. I forget the bad things that happened to me, even the good. Movies are entirely a different world to me, and i live one of the character's life for those three hours. Stress busters, they are. The most happiest moments for me are when i enter the hall, first day first show without knowing what's waiting in there. I prefer those first day first shows as i don't get the review by then and i can have a complete own opinion about the movie. The depressing part is walking out of the hall after it's over. Even after i walk out, i wish that i would exchange my life with one of those people with beautiful and happy one's shown in all movies. Not that mine is any less, but change is always welcome. As long as my memory permits, i have walked midway out of two movies only. I hated those, and found no point sitting in them. Surprisingly, those both movies were received well by the people and went on to be hits. I could not connect with a single character in the movie, maybe that was the reason. I could go on about movies forever.

Movies=happiness, for people like me, who lose themselves completely in them.

we cannot start afresh can we?

its 11:30 pm and im actually not asleep. i dont know why i blog only when im in such a confused state of mind.

Well. I turned 19 last week. and had the best 19 yrs of life anybody could wish for. but ryt now i feel like running away from evrything and start everything fresh. i kno running away isnt possible but is starting afresh possible? we have so many emotional bonds. we hurt people, we get hurt. we forgive, we don't forget. people don't forgive nor do they forget.

Life changes so drastically. last year this tym i had the bestest friends life could give me. ryt now, yeah we all are frends still but at each corner of the world. or geetha, who stays ryt here and has become distant but she's there for me whenever i need her. i feel selfish.

And i want to change all that. change the way things happened. and start new.

We are so engrossed in this stupid race of who's better than whom that when we actually sit back and think everybody in the corner of their heart think they need to start afresh. not to correct their mistakes but to see how life would have been if they did things the other way..

I wish i had a chance. not to go back to the beginning but to start a new one.